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so flawed and drunk and perfect still

Talk about Elliott here, in the most broadest of terms. For any ES talk that doesn't fit anywhere else.

Re: so flawed and drunk and perfect still

Postby solveig » Fri Aug 21, 2015 3:49 am

http://qtlpod.com/2015/08/20/talking-to ... /#comments

"I prefer not to appear as some sort of disturbed person. I think a lot of people try to get a lot of mileage out of it, like 'I'm a tortured artist' or something. I'm not a tortured artist, and there's nothing really wrong with me."

Elliott Smith

"I mean, it always sort of startles me to what lengths people will go to kind of make a case that Elliott Smith was not really suicidal or something because it's just so CLEAR that there was such a THEME, and it's one that he acknowledged over and over again and all his friends talked about repeatedly, (...) and i mean it's just an established FACT."

WT Schultz

THIS is closer to what was going on (and it's not from a vague "someone", or "exceptionally close" or whatever unnameable source):

"The thing about Elliott in his drug use is that I felt like it was somehow in his plan to get strung out, to get really far out there. I always felt like the whole heroin thing, he nodded to it, no pun intended. He had it in his mind that that was going to be part of the picture. He was getting some mileage out of people freaking out when he would talk about it, so he liked that. I really feel like the plan was, 'I'm going to get really fucked up and come back from that.' I never thought that he would intentionally kill himself or OD intentionally; if he died it would be an accidental OD. He had plenty of opportunities to kill himself when he got really depressed; I always just felt like he would have done it. I heard he tried a couple of times and they were half-hearted attempts and something happened. With the heroin thing I just thought that that was part of the plan, I thought he was going to do his thing and then he was going to come back. That was the big picture, and he would overcome his demons or have some depth of experience he could draw from artistically or somehow satisfy some romantic vision he wanted to be like. But I don't think his romantic vision was finally tragic. I think he liked being a tragic character but he wanted to be around to see the results of that characterization."

Pete Krebs

geez, pete, you're going to such delusional lengths.

oh, and WT - as a footnote and just for the record, he wrote Stickman in 1999, you know - at a time when drugs had destroyed no one's personality.

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Re: so flawed and drunk and perfect still

Postby solveig » Sun Aug 23, 2015 4:09 am

"Hi Rob,
Just wondering if you could shed some light on the acoustic guitar sound from the intro to Somebody That I Used to Know? It sounds quite unusual, very coloured, was there much processing, can you remember the mic(s)/position(s)? It sounds like there's a bit of DI in there too? Some of the high notes have a kind of stereo spread, is that an effect, it's not double tracked is it (or maybe a few notes were overdubbed)?
Thanks so much if you can help/remember!"

"Hmm, I suspect that it's live. two mics, one vocal one gtr. Then doubled live the same way. So the spread is kinda like take 1 vocal 20% right, gtr 100% left, take 2 the opposite.
Gives an interesting spread.
Anyways that's what I think it was. We did those acoustic songs while we were mixing.
Tom and I would tag team mixing and recording. I remember figure eight at that point was lots of elaborate arrangements and i was bugging elliott to do some simple direct stuff as it had none.
He started fiddling around with acoustic songs and realized he forgot how much he liked doing that stuff. All the touring and studio production made him forget about that side of things. Anyways
Like that......"

Rob Schnapf

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Re: so flawed and drunk and perfect still

Postby solveig » Fri Sep 04, 2015 6:16 am

"There's a bunch of Elvis Costello records that when I was in high school just made all the difference between feeling like a total freak and feeling like... only a freak. A freak among other freaks!"

Elliott Smith

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Re: so flawed and drunk and perfect still

Postby solveig » Tue Sep 22, 2015 3:39 am

"I wrote a lot of sweet, happy melodies this time, but the songs aren’t really happy. But you can pretend they’re happy."

Elliott Smith

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Re: so flawed and drunk and perfect still

Postby solveig » Fri Oct 02, 2015 2:16 pm

"I've never been to mardi gras. I have a friend who lives there who says it can be kind of gross and I'm interested to see it, but I don't have any real plans. Probably drink a lot of hurricanes or something. I'm not going to be running around in the street telling people to take their clothes off or anything like that."

Elliott Smith

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Re: so flawed and drunk and perfect still

Postby solveig » Mon Oct 19, 2015 2:51 pm

"Remember the letters you sent in for Elliott a few years back?
I have been meaning to post something about this for years.
Remember a few years back when Charlie asked everyone to email him letters to Elliott?
Well, Elliott got your letters and he loved them. Bear with me as I try to tell a story that needs to be told as we reach the one-year anniversary of Elliott's death. I was a fan of Elliott's music and would hang out with the band whenever they would come through Texas.
I moved to Los Angeles in 2001 and lived right behind the El Rey Theatre on Wiltshire. I had my own record label and CD, and sometimes I would stand out front as the concerts let out and handout CD's.
One night Built to Spill was playing, I saw Doug making his way out of the venue. I was going to walk up and give him a cd; after all built to spill was an influence of mine. But as I did, Doug was overtaken by this homeless guy. This guy was hugging him and sobbing, as everyone looked on.
Doug obviously knew the guy, and everyone around watched curiously, wondering who this guy with dirty clothes, long hair/beard, fresh bandages on both wrists, hardly standing, unbathed person was.
As his girlfriend picked him up, and began walking him towards me, I immediately recognized those sad eyes. My heart literally stopped. I was shocked and sad, and had to catch my breath. I started walking home, rounding the corner of Dunsmuir, when I heard a loud sobbing and younger female voice. There curled up in a ball was Elliott Smith, as his girlfriend tried to talk him into standing. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I mean I would have had to be standing next to Mark Chapman when he shot John Lennon, to witness anything as disturbing as this.
I mean my fucking hero was overdosing on my god damn street corner (or so I thought) and there was nothing I could do about it.
His girlfriend assured me she just needed to get him home (not Chiba by the way), and I could tell police or ambulances were the last thing she wanted around. I helped her carry him to their car, and they drove off. I had to do something. I emailed Charlie and told him that I wanted to put together a book of letters for Elliott. I asked for his assistance, and he posted the request. We get responses from over 200 of you worldwide, in less than a week. I hate to do this to you, but I have to go to bed. It's real late here in TX and I have to work in the morning.
I will finish this story and tell you guys about how I got the letters to him, and the phone call I got.
Later,....Sorry I had to cut short last night. I am a slow typer. Anyways, for those of you wonder why I am reciting this story "to the world", very few have heard it, and all of you who sent letters should. The incident in my last post is what inspired me to email Charlie and ask for his help.
Within a week we got 100's of emails from you guys. It was amazing.
Scanning over the addresses I could see that there were many fans of both genders, of all ages and from all over the world.
I printed them out and had them binded to make a book.
I made a cover for it and put my letter as a preface. I reminded him of that night, (which he probably didn't remember) and I told him how concerned all of his friends were. I asked him to read these letters whenever he felt down,
and to see how much he means to so many people. I told him that I would assist in anyway I could in his recovery, and put my phone number at the end.
Getting the book to him became a problem. He was no longer checking his mail or answering his door. The shows that would be scheduled around town would quickly be canceled.
But the Sunset Junction show did happen and, as many of you witnessed, Elliott was at his worst. He had locked himself up in his tent back stage, and wasn't coming out after the show.
Luckily, I saw Farmer Dave (Beachwood Sparks) backstage and I knew he was pretty good friends with him, so I explained to Dave what the book was and asked him to be sure to get it to Elliott.
About 6 months went by and I hadn't heard anything. Worse yet, no one around town had seen Elliott for a while.
I would worry and wonder about him periodically, but I was working and keeping busy. I didn't really have time to track down Farmer Dave, but I was sure he probably had delivered the book.
One Friday night, I got home at around 12:30, and I had three messages on my voice mail.
12:10-"Hey Cody, this is Elliott Smith. I just came across the book that you guys made me. Wow,
I really love it. I have been pretty sick for a while, and this made me feel really good. So.. yea,thanks again."
12:13-"hey, this is Elliott again. give me a call when you get this.
(and left his number)
12:15-"hey,it's me again. By the way this really is Elliott, it's not somebody playing a joke or anything.
Please don't give my number to anyone because I don't want to have to change it.Ok, bye"
I couldn't believe I missed his calls by minutes. I tried to call him back, but I just got his machine.
I've always wished I would have been there for him, when he needed someone to talk to that night.
Months went by, Elliott went into therapy and started to turn his life around.
He had a new girlfriend and would finally be seen out again around town.
His shows began to come alive again, and his skin gained it's color back.
When I finally ran into him, he gave me a big hug and thanked me again for the letters.
He told me how special they were to him, and that he read them all the time.
A few weeks after his death, one of his close friends told me how he carried that thing around with him for months.
She said he would read it, whenever he felt depressed.
You see, I have seen fans come up to him and tell him how much he meant to them.
I have seen people draw beautiful pictures of him and give him poems.
He was always polite in accepting, but Elliott was never good at receiving these gestures.
He would get embarrassed. But by you guys writing him those letters and spilling out your hearts about the difference
he had made in your lives, you gave him a very non-confrontational gift that he could read and experience on his own terms as he was ready.
It saved his life at that time. It inspired him to finish his CD.
It inspired him to get his life together.
And most of all, it inspired him to appreciate himself and every one of you guys.
He was so excited about finishing the Cd on going on tour again. I got to work with him in the studio a few times,
and we would talk whenever we saw each other and he ALWAYS brought up your letters.
You all made a big difference in his life.
Don't believe that he killed himself. Don't believe he wasn't clean. Don't believe he wasn't happy
Peace and love,
Cody"

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Re: so flawed and drunk and perfect still

Postby solveig » Wed Oct 21, 2015 10:43 am

"Anyway. That's where I'll be for a while."

Elliott Smith

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Re: so flawed and drunk and perfect still

Postby solveig » Mon Nov 16, 2015 2:18 pm

“In 1999, I got turned down over the phone for a press pass to the Rolling Stones show in Charlotte that night, and ten minutes later, got a phone call offering a press pass to the Elliott Smith show that same night at Tremont Music Hall. Elliott came onstage wearing a vintage Rolling Stones t-shirt. I still haven’t seen the Stones, but I still think I ended up where I was supposed to be that night. Elliott was really good that night. The crowd was so quiet and reverent, Elliott got spooked and thought that they weren’t into the show. So he just said, “Goodnight”, and that was it! He came out to sign autographs after the show. I talked to him for a few minutes. He was very nice, and didn’t talk much beyond a whisper. I still have the album he signed, “To Daniel, XO Elliott Smith.” A few years ago, I decided to scan my photos from that night. I finished about half-a-roll (I shot four rolls of film, that night), started looking at the photos, and just…. stopped. A flood of emotions really hit me. Hard. I still haven’t scanned the rest of the photos. I need to. Someday.”

Daniel Coston

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Re: so flawed and drunk and perfect still

Postby solveig » Sun Nov 22, 2015 3:39 am

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"Somebody wrote that Gus discovered me playing in a coffeehouse last year. I don't know where that came from, but, like, we're friends. They're all songs I wrote before, except the one that was nominated, and they're all on previously released records. That's why it was so weird when someone was like, 'Oh, Gus discovered him last year playing in a coffee bar.' It's like, right - since then I went back in time and recorded three records. It makes a good story, but it's not true."

Elliott Smith

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Re: so flawed and drunk and perfect still

Postby solveig » Mon Nov 30, 2015 9:31 am

“I can’t find anything or anyone I really want to be besides myself. There’s a lot of things I want to do, nothing I really want to be.”

Elliott Smith


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